My sister and her boyfriend this weekend decided to make me an online dating profile. I’ve always strongly urged others to try online dating because the stories are great (one of my friends met a chicken farmer who promised to give her fresh eggs if only she’d go visit him), but I never felt it would lead to anything other than a funny blog post or farm-fresh goods.
Now I’m kind of thinking, why not? When I meet most guys in bars I can barely muster the energy to smile and pretend to be interested long enough to tell him I’m not interested. Think: Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion, “Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.”
At least with online dating the only wasted energy is the amount of time it takes for me to click ‘x’ on my browser.
I was on Skype with Karen and her boyfriend, Connor, while they were filling out the application for me on eHarmony UK.
Karen: What’s your password?
I told them.
Connor: Good. Now we can check her stuff.
Karen: OK. Let’s get started. So you are a woman … seeking men (I’m thinking one will do). Marital status … divorced.
Me: Put that I’m single and never married!!!! (I hate the word “divorced”)
Karen: No. I can’t lie about these things. I’m putting divorced.
Then the questionnaire started. Each question asks about your personality and physical appearance, and you have to rate your self from low (1) to high (7).
Karen: First question. How plain are you? 1-7?
Me: Plain?
Karen: Yeah, it says how plain/ordinary are you?
Me: I don’t know. I guess I’m average. Four?
Karen: How stable are you?
Me: Six. Oh, wait, do they mean mentally stable or like, stable in career/ambition, etc.?
Karen: However you want to interpret it.
Me: Hm, maybe four, just in case.
Karen: Are you frugal?
Me: Yes! I’m a seven.
Karen and Connor: We don’t agree, so we’re giving you a two.
Karen: Patient?
Me: I’d say five.
Karen: One.
Connor: It has to be honest, Sara. [turns to Karen] She’s a three.
Karen: How do you spend your free time?
Me: Watching Breaking Bad, trying to become a respectable CoD player, discovering new restaurants/bars with friends, traveling Europe.
The application took forever, and it wasn’t until I got the eHarmony app for my iPhone that I realized my profile was only 54% complete!
Karen and Connor have already logged in and gone through my first set of free matches, detailing point by point why I should give Simon from Australia, Jon from Putney, and David the tall chef a chance. I said no to Jon because he said his main passion was “anything sports!” Karen says I should really give Jon a second chance because he also likes fine wine. I’m totally fine with sports, and in fact enjoy going to games, but a guy whose only interest is sports? Wine or no wine, Jon from Putney is a no.
My question now: what are people’s thoughts about online dating? Also, is it worth it to pay or better to use a free site? I’m thinking it’s probably better to pay, because it seems like that would automatically weed out a lot of the losers and creepers. If you have done online dating, what’s your site of choice?
I don’t have a lot of hope for this, but I think it could potentially be a fun experience!
February 11, 2013 at 15:31
One of my friends used Match.com and totally swears by it. Have you ever read the blog corrieanne.com? She wrote a pretty awesome, detailed post about meeting her husband online.
I think that the concept of the internet not being “real life” is totally dated and irrelevant in today’s world. Honestly, online dating seems so much more efficient! If I’m ever single again, that’s definitely the way that I’ll go.
February 11, 2013 at 15:33
That’s one thing I’ve noticed is that a few years ago everyone thought it was weird. Now it seems like hardly anyone thinks it’s weird. I find it a lot less weird now that I’ve met actual people from blogging. Not guys, but just random blog readers, and it turned out they were even cooler in person! So I guess if you spend a bit of time at it, it may not be so much different.
I haven’t heard of that blog, but I’ll check it out! Thanks!
February 11, 2013 at 16:40
I love online dating! It is SO MUCH fun! I use OKCupid because, well, free. Sure, maybe you get less misses and more hits with the paid ones, but free, plus I’ve found tons of normal dudes on there, and I have a feeling you have to sift through the weirdos on any site, I mean, it IS the Internet. Good luck and happy hunting! Mostly, just have fun with it
February 11, 2013 at 16:47
My friend in NYC was saying everyone there is on OKCupid. I’m not sure if we have it here, but I’ll check it out! I feel really motivated now that you have endorsed online dating haha. I’ve grown to trust your wise opinion
February 11, 2013 at 16:55
Haha, not exactly sure online dating is “wise,” but emphasis on “fun” again. I haven’t gone on more than two dates with the same person–but they’ve all been nice guys, good chats, and just kinda fun to small talk with a new person. Maybe the benefit of paid sites would be if you want something serious? I get the feeling that those sites are a little more geared toward that, while the free ones are less pressure/intensity and a little more casual. Which is fun, because you can choose to go on a date with someone you might otherwise look over as “not right,” and instead just go for it, have a coffee, and never talk to them again if you don’t want to–nothing invested in it anyway.
February 11, 2013 at 16:57
You should blog about this stuff!
February 11, 2013 at 20:17
I put my account on hold due to general travel/life business, I think it’s time to reactive and get bloggin’…We can compare stories
February 11, 2013 at 20:41
I know many people who have met a mate through online dating. My thought is to just be open to trying new things because you are going through a life change and change is always fun if you let go and trust the process as I say
. Who knows, you may meet your new best friend, an opportunity for your career or get introduced to things you have never seen or tried before! Sending you fun + joy for your journey! Love + Shine Courtstar
February 11, 2013 at 23:31
All the cool kids are doing it
G and I met on Craigslist! But that was before that crazy Boston preppy med student murderer thing. I would have gone the paying route if that had happened around the time I put the ad out.
To be honest I went on the most dates from my Craigslist ad and had the best time. And I met my best friend, which I had no intentions of. I just wanted to date around.
I did pay for eharmony (before I realized how non-inclusive they are) and went on great dates with one guy but he ended up being über anti-relationship.
So yeah, you never know what service will bring you the best results.
February 12, 2013 at 08:19
I had no idea you two met on Craigslist! That’s so cool and sweet! I always thought you guys seemed perfect together. <3
Were you nervous about putting an ad up when you did it? Also what do you mean by how non-inclusive eharmony is?
February 12, 2013 at 20:58
I wasn’t too nervous. I knew I would only meet up with guys in a very public setting and who knew how to write comprehensive sentences. You wouldn’t believe the amount of men who will write to you in ‘text speech’. No go.
eHarmony’s long ass survey (takes what, 30-50 minutes to fill out?) is based on heterosexual relationships only. I don’t like them for that reason. Match.com is a better mainstream dating site, I’ve heard.
February 19, 2013 at 02:59
Ah! I’m just catching up on your blog! So many good posts:) I love that you’re giving online dating a try. One of my best friends was single for a few years and I kept trying to convince her to get online! I would totally try it out if I were single; no shame at all if you ask me. Best of luck!