I used to get in stupid little fights with people all the time. In the past couple years I figured out that life is more fun when you actually have friends so I stopped my negative, stubborn mindset and started smiling and being nice to people rather than walking by them with my gaze to the floor. (Although walking around and looking at the ground is still highly advisable, because who wants to step in a mushy dog poo and then have to walk around the office all day?)
Another thing I realized is that by being angry about meaningless things the only person I was hurting was myself.
Things that have made my life so much happier:
- Asking myself if it’s really worth it. Will it matter in a year? Most often it won’t even matter in a day, so let it go.
- Look at my own actions honestly and admit when I’ve been a jerk or made a mistake, and say sorry!
- You never regret something you don’t say, but you often regret things you say in the heat of the moment. I try to leave the situation for a while and come back when I can have a calm, mature discussion with no assumptions/accusations based on heated emotions. It was hard at first, but now I’m able to do this most of the time and my first reaction is often to go calm down rather than get mad and say things I don’t mean. Always a work in progress, though!
Sometimes the line gets blurred. In an effort to be reasonable and not fight I might not say anything at the time someone offends me. I think, “I can let this go.” Often it’s easy to let it go, but sometimes those little things build up if it’s a serious issue or recurring problem.
It’s only natural to have disagreements with people, but I’ve learned how you handle it makes almost all the difference. Everyone knows how quickly things can spiral out of control, especially when you’re talking over text or e-mail because it’s so easy to take things out of context and get even angrier.
Although I rarely ever get in fights with people now, a couple months ago I got in a big fight with one of my friends. It could have easily been avoided, but in the span of a handful of texts we were both like: fine, don’t talk to me anymore!
I sent my sister a bunch of texts telling her all about the fight and saying I was worried that a) he was serious and really wouldn’t talk to me again and b) that I wouldn’t be able to hold out and not talk to him again.
“Mom told me that when she took your diapers away you refused to poop in the toilet. She said you went a week without pooping so she stuck a suppository up your butt hole to make you go.”
When I first read that message I got all motivated and thought, “Yeah! I totally have it in me to be strong and stubborn. He’s got another thing coming if he thinks I’m going to talk to him again.”
Then I was like … wait. Sure, I proved I had the ability to be stubborn. But what did that actually get me? A suppository stuffed up my butt hole. Not exactly a positive ending.
So, boys and girls. What have we learned today?
Stubbornness is not the answer and that proper communication will go a LONG way.
Talk about a Jerry Springer final thought …